Monday, July 13, 2015

My Journey to Presidential Diamond & growing our Family

I'm not quite sure where I will end up at the end of this blog but it's time for it. I need to put into words how my crazy, beautiful, and hectic life is playing out.

I joined a company called It Works Global on June 29, 2014. I honestly just joined because my best friend/ sister in law really wanted this business to work for her and I wanted to be 100% supportive. It was only $100 to join as a Distributor so it was super low cost and I could quit at any time with no penalties or fees! The only thing I really heard when joining was "QUIT". From day 1 I already had it in my mind to quit. Totally setting myself up for failure. My sister in law Ashley Olive is the most bubbly, optimistic person you will ever met. She kept telling me we where going to go far in this business all because a lady named Ashley Hughes that she had never met in person and only saw am Instagram and Facebook profile online. I let her believe that we would totally kill it, but realistically I thought this isn't REAL people do not make $10,000 per month and this chick in Utah is totally exaggerating her pay. So my inner self was battling the struggle with telling Ashley Olive that I really didn't believe Ashley Hughes or just keep it to myself and she will eventually figure it out for herself.

We went to a One Team One Mission seminar in Houston hosted by a Triple Diamond and Presidential Diamond. I can remember looking at them talking about their pay based on the income chart and thinking "HOLY COW, maybe this is for real". But I still didn't think it was possible for us. I mean it only happens for other people. Not me. They asked for all Rubies and above to stand and there were way more people at those ranks then I had anticipated ! It was that moment that I genuinely thought Ruby was obtainable but not too much higher than that. It would be awesome to make an average income of around $500 per month, I would be satisfied if I could hit Ruby. Ashley Olive kept telling me that in 2 years we would be making $10,000 per month or more.

YEAH ok....whatever you say Ash !

So I tried a wrap and fell in LOVE so I  started utilizing social media to try to grow my business and spread the word. Ashley Olive posted and BAM she was immediately almost Diamond ( ok I might be exaggerating but it was instant curiosity from her social media followers ). I posted .........

AND CRICKETS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one like my posts, my results or anything. I tried to quit on Ashley oh about 100 times, but how can you quit on someone that is so darn sweet and motivating ? Exactly, you can't !

I thank God everyday for keeping me hanging on. So, finally a couple weeks into the business I started to get some interest and it was SOOOOOO exciting! I was selling wraps like candy. People were falling in love with their results and I started growing a little team!

I went : Emerald in July 2014
             Diamond in August 2014
             Double Diamond in September 2014

Things were going great ! We are having parties, meeting new people, and loving the extra income. Problem was I still didn't see the potential I really had yet.

October came around and I stopped working my business due to some personal issues. Casey and I were told that my hormones levels had dropped and some more testing and things needed to be done for our fertility. We were ready to start trying for baby # 2 and it all came crashing down at once. The excitement and anxiousness of making the decision to grow our family and the hurt, anger and disappointment of being told your body isn't working as it should be. I was a big ball of emotions!!! so I put It Works on the back burner and focused on my baby boy turning 2 that month and started my fertility treatments.

We tried through November with no luck and decided that December we would hold off on fertility meds so that we could have some time to breathe and not stress, plan and over think everything. I just couldn't bring myself to work the business because I didn't really know why I wanted It Works in my life. More than anything I didn't believe in myself. We enjoyed Christmas and come January Ashley Olive sat me down for a heart to heart because she could totally see my struggle and she wanted me to succeed. I explained my fear of not being able to have anymore children. My heart was so heavy because I knew there was NO WAY Casey and I could afford IVF or any other options available for us. We have a mortgage, car payments, child care and bills so it is just not a realistic to think we could afford much more. Ashley cried with me and then together we found my why.

There is nothing more motivating than knowing that this money could be our only option for Baby Nowetner # 2 and giving my precious Bowen the life he deserves. 

I ended up getting pregnant in February of this year with the help of fertility drugs but had a very early miscarriage. It was heart breaking but I know God has a plan of us. His timing will be the best. I have hope. I pray about it every night and I know God hears me.

January - now , I have never worked so hard! I push myself each day. I have gotten a raise each and every month this year. I have found leadership skills I never knew I had. I have a crazy It Works family that has supported me in my business and in my personal life! After having my miscarriage it was so helpful to me that I had a huge support system and other women who have been through the same thing. Their love along with my family was crucial.

Today- I am a Presidential Diamond and I still can not believe it. It's been a journey , but it's my journey. I am proud of it. Through struggles, hard work and a lot of God's help I am where I am today. I will forever be grateful to It Works for the financial freedom , fun and friendship that I now have in my life. This skeptic is now a believer..!

Yep I am that "CRAZY WRAP GIRL"  :))

As for baby # 2 , it hasn't happened for us yet but I know it will. It might be a couple months or a couple of years but our time is coming. If you don't mind please say a prayer for strength for us.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Our Journey to 4: It ended before it began

Things have happened so quickly since I wrote my last blog and starting our journey to a family of 4..! Please bear with me as I am writing this with very raw emotions. 

So, I used my fertility monitor to tell me when I ovulated ( feb 6th and 7th ) so from there you all know what happened. I started testing for pregnancy on like feb 13th. Yes I am a freak and spend tons of money on pregnancy test because I'm obsessed!! Anyways on feb 16th I got a super faint positive on a first response test ... I am so excited I could barely see straight. It was soooo faint I did not want to tell anyone though. I told myself I would wait until the line was darker so that I felt it was a "real" positive. So, of course I tested again on Feb 17th and immediately the pink line came up !! It wasn't incredibly dark but you didn't have to squint to see it, it was there ! This was Casey's birthday so I ordered a printable sign off etsy to give to casey and surprise him while at his parents for dinner. 

Here's the sign :


Casey was over the moon.! We were ecstatic that our 1st round of fertility medicine had helped us conceive ...

Until it didn't ... 

I called and made a doctors appointment and they wanted me to come in on Feb 18th for some blood work to confirm pregnancy. I decided to go to Dr. Ball @ OGA. They called me that same evening to tell me that I was pregnant but that it was so early in this pregnancy that they wanted me to come back Friday feb 20th to make sure my hcg levels were doubling. 

I knew in my heart of hearts that something wasn't just right with this pregnancy. My levels were abnormally low, I didn't feel right , the home pregnancy test weren't getting any darker . I just knew my body and I had a very bad feeling from the get go, but I held out hope that I was just being paranoid. 

Thursday feb 19th I started spotting but I didn't think too much of it because it wasn't much. I had had the same thing with my pregnancy with Bowen. I tried not to stress and went in this morning for more blood work. Dr. Balls nurse said she would call me around 4 with results. 

Noon came and I started cramping really bad and had a gush of bright red blood followed by what I would explain as a really heavy cycle. I knew 100% at that point this was going downhill quickly. I called the doctors office and spoke with the nurse and explained what was going on. She was very sweet and compassionate. She told me she was going to walk down to the lab herself and get my results and call me back. 

That was the longest 8 minutes of my life. The phone rang and I knew just from the tone of her voice that this pregnancy was over. She explained that my hcg levels had drastically decreased and that this blood was a miscarriage. My heart dropped , I cried , I questioned God , I got angry , and then I just went numb. 

I left work and came home and set in the garage in my car and just cried for 30 minutes. I asked God why he let me get pregnant to just take it away in a blink. I have never felt more alone. 

I know it may seem silly for some but to me I lost something that I had long dreamed of and prayed for. It was our baby. It was another little miracle. Even just those few days I knew that I was pregnant I loved that baby so much. I had so many things I thought would happen. So many things I thought I would experience with this baby. 

My husband, family and close friends have been texting and calling and I appreciate it more than you know. I just don't want to speak about it right now. I am writing this blog not for sympathy or people reaching out to me. I simply write it because it helps me deal with these emotions. It helps me get it out without having to say it out loud. And honestly it just sucks ! 

I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle and I don't need to question why this happened. I will get to that point. I'll pull myself out of the dark hole and things will get better. We will try again later for another baby and this pain I feel now with ease up with time. I'll pray for strength and peace. We will get through this. 

If Bowen is the only child God ever gives us then I'm blessed. He's my everything. With his love and the rest of my family we will survive this. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Our Journey to 4

A new year brings many different things for people but this year for us we are hoping it brings a baby.

I figured it's time to start blogging about our decision to become a family of four....

 Casey and I have been wanting and thinking of starting this journey for several months now. With my fertility issues there isn't a typical "if it happens it happens" scenario. We have used Clomid a couple times but when it didn't happen we didn't make doctors appointments or fret over it because at that point we weren't truly set on it happening. However now we are ready to do whatever is necessary to have another little one.

So, with that being said here goes nothing. I'm extremely sensitive to the fact that my body doesn't function properly. It has taken a lot of reassuring from Casey, family and doctors that it is okay. I don't always feel that way. I put my heart into it and I feel responsible and feel like I let my family down if things don't happen in that area of our life. I am thankful that we do have Bowen this time because that takes some of the pressure off for me. If its in God's plan that we only ever have Bowen then that's okay with us.

Dr. M (my doctor) retired August of 2014. I was sincerely sad because he was not just a typical doctor. He felt like so much more. He delivered me, my brother and Bowen. He was who helped me begin and understand my fertility issues and last but not least he kept Bowen and I healthy and safe during my pregnancy. In fact, this is how special he really is...I got a call mid August of 2014 from his office. I didn't answer because I didn't hear it ring and I noticed a little while later that I had a voicemail. I was totally expecting an automated call or something.  I hit play on my voicemail and it was Dr. M asking me to call him because he had some things to discuss with me. Immediately I call back and he goes on to tell me that he will be retiring late August and he wanted to know if I wanted him to call in any of my fertility meds before he left (Provera & Clomid). He explained that he didn't want me to have to see a new doctor and go through any unnecessary testing and explanation if I didn't have to. He called is a jump start and he ended up calling in a 3 month supply of both. I am so grateful for this! I might need to see another doctor at some point if the 3 month supply doesn't work but I'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I started my Provera January 12,  2015. 10 days of that and then we wait! Next if that works and my cycle starts it will be Clomid day 4-8. Fingers crossed!

I am doing my best to not let the process consume me but I might already have a list of names, how we will announce and what doctors I want to see.

In all seriously it is in God's hands and we will pray about it. We know that wherever this path takes us, it is where we are meant to go.

Updates to follow.

Xoxo - Lacey