2015 was a tough year for me. After the miscarriage in February 2015 I was in a complete funk. I knew there was a reason it happened and I trusted that God had a plan for my family but it still didn't make it any easier every time I saw a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook. We tried and tried for months and it always ended with me taking a million pregnancy tests ALL with a big fat negative! I would get so frustrated with my body....why was it failing me? Questions filled my head constantly and fertility meds made me feel totally crazy! Finally around late October/Early November I went to Casey and told him that I couldn't put myself through this anymore. It was about to be the Holidays and I just wanted to not be on fertility meds and have it consuming my life. I desperately wanted to just enjoy my family, Christmas and our Disney vacation.
So we did just that! No Doctors, No medicine, & No baby talk (for the most part)!
New Years Eve my mom, Ashley and all our boys were over at my house to bring in the new year while all the men were duck hunting and as us girl were talking about what the new year might hold for each of us Ashley said "I bet 2016 will be the year we get Baby Nowetner #2"! I vividly remember basically glaring over at her (because remember I was trying so hard to not think about a baby) and I immediately snapped at her "NO ASHLEY! I haven't even been back to the doctor to see where we go from here and I don't have any fertility meds so no this isn't the year!" As you can tell I was defensive, it was the only way I knew how to protect myself from the heartbreak.
2016 came I just wasn't feeling right. All of a sudden I was extremely tired and had zero energy. My mom has a thyroid problem and I watched her struggle with having no energy and being crazy tired all the time. I also know that things like that can be hereditary so after a week of feeling like crap I told Casey that something was wrong and I needed to get to the doctor and have come blood work done to check my thyroid level. He was very supportive and agreed that going to the doctor would be a good idea. That night I sent him to Walgreens to get a pregnancy test but not because I thought I was pregnant ....it was only because I knew the next day at the doctor they would ask me if I could be pregnant and suggest I take a pregnancy test in office to be sure & from all of my experience its so much easier to deal with your emotions in your own house instead of fighting back the tears sitting in the doctors office! Anyways, I could just take my negative test in with me and let them know I had taken a test the night before and it was negative. Easy enough.
We made no big deal about me taking a test. Casey got home from Walgreens and it was late so he went straight to bed and I laid on the couch sleeping on and off. About midnight I decided to take the test and get to bed. Annoyed and angry I took the test sat it on the counter....waited for just a few seconds and I thought I saw 2 lines....WAIT WHAT ?! TWO LINES means I'm PREGNANT ! My heart sank, I wiped my eyes to be sure I was seeing this correctly. I took a picture and sent it to Ashley to get a second opinion. I ran into our bedroom woke Casey up as I was crying hysterically. He always wakes up in outer space so it took him a couple minutes to realize what in the world was going on. After seeing the test a huge smile came over his face and then he asked me "Are you crying because you are happy or sad?"
& It was in that moment on January 10th that it got real....I was extremely happy but I was also really scared! I had prayed and prayed for this baby and I was so afraid of losing it. I couldn't handle another miscarriage.
This was not only my Rainbow baby but also my little miracle baby. No meds, No Doctors & No planning .....There was a 1 in a million shot at me getting pregnant without fertility meds and it happened. The only was to explain that happening is.... GOD !
My Pregnancy:
My pregnancy was a pretty rough one. Starting from when I was only about 4 1/2 weeks along I was sick, and not just like throw up once and then you are fine. It was an all day thing. So much so that Bowen at 3 years old would come running to the bathroom with me and rub my back while telling me that "It's OK Momma, the baby is growing". Casey was so good to me. He would bring me whatever I needed, laugh at me when I peed my pants from throwing up so hard and help me with Bowen. I had always heard that "morning sickness" was a good sign for a healthy baby!!! So I held on to that hope. I had my first doctors appointment mid January and via Ultrasound we didn't see the baby. Which worried me to death !!! I just wanted to see my baby with a strong heartbeat.
Feb 17th at almost 8 weeks I went back for another ultrasound and baby was there!!!! What a great moment !
I continued to be sick all the time but otherwise my HCG levels were good. I had to take progesterone pills because it was on the low side. I really wanted to know the gender so I opted to do the blood work that tests for gender along with many other genetic issues. I had my blood drawn at 11 weeks and after waiting 10 days it came back inconclusive. The doctor was a little concerned but wanted me to have another blood draw to see if it was a fluke. At almost 13 weeks I had another blood draw....waited 10 days and it came back inconclusive AGAIN! When the doctor called I could tell there was some level of worry in her voice. I asked her to be completely honest with me and tell me what "could be" the cause of this. She explained that these inconclusive results do not happen very often and that it could mean that the baby had a major chromosomal abnormality. She insisted that I get in immediately to the imaging center for an ultrasound and also get in to a specialist.
Of course, I panicked. Here I was 13 weeks pregnant and so attached to this baby already. Please God don't let there be something wrong with my baby. I called Casey at work and told him. He came home from work early to be with me. My mom and Ashley showed up to console me. I was a wreck. Being pregnant and having no clear answers is so scary. We all prayed and from there it was a waiting game until I got in to the specialist.
My Doctor was able to get me into the Imaging Center the next day and they did a very detailed ultrasound and when the Dr. S came in to talk with me he told me that he didn't see anything that was alarming to him. He said everything seemed on track but that if it would make me feel better then seeing the high risk specialist wasn't a bad idea.
Since the blood test didn't work and we had to wait a few weeks to get into the specialist so I decided to make an appointment with Baby Love Ultrasound at 16 weeks to determine the gender of our sweet baby!
April 7th- It was finally time to determine the gender....Case and I went to the appointment and almost immediately the tech said well it's a beautiful little girl :) We just wanted a healthy baby but having a baby girl to add to our awesome little boy was very exciting! We had a cute little gender reveal with our family the same evening! Bowen wanted a sister so bad and his wish was going to come true!!
Besides being sick for 7 months of my pregnancy it wasn't too bad if you say it fast.! Bristol was way more active than Bowen was in the womb. I enjoyed feeling her every movement. I had 2 appointments with the high risk doctor and both times he said everything looked very normal and all the measurements were in the range that they were supposed to be! What a huge relief!
Case and I decided that this would be our last baby so we really tried to slow down and enjoy every waddle, pregnancy craving & kick that this pregnancy brought us.
Can't wait to write her birth blog!
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